That is mine, mine, mine. My boyfriend is mine of my property! What is mine is mine! Many people are empowered with a sense of ownership since childhood. First they generate the desire to belong to things they don't even need . The TV is a specialist is to make us buy things that we do not even use minimally. If you want to think about the last ten things you have bought and check, how many of them could have been saved. In young children, it is easy to see: "Mom / Dad, I want THAT! I want THAT! I want THAT!" seen on TV or have a friend. If parents fail, they go on to ask uncles, grandparents, etc.
This desire for membership must be satisfied, and until then, is constantly repeated in loop format the "I want that!, I want that!, I want that!". The consumer system itself is responsible for generating a sense of loneliness if the desire is not satisfied, and many family members end up buying things just for not knowing how to properly attend to the little ones.
Once with possession in hand, he touches his defense . Now we have to see all the people, that, even if it is silly what we have asked for, it must seem that it has the greatest value in the world . Otherwise, our future requests in an unbearable loop format may not be satisfied. We pass to the wonderful state of " THIS IS MINE ", where we transform the feeling of care for that of defense . No one can touch what is ours, although it can be stored in a corner without problems. I get bored of seeing children, very poorly educated, who don't know how to share toys with their siblings.
With my experience in relationship coaching, do you know what is the greatest toxicity I have seen in divorces ? Can you imagine it after the example? Sad, but I'm afraid it's a bad habit that creeps in since childhood.
It is easy to verify that any relationship has the following phases:
- First we find the phase of awakening the attention of a person. People demonstrate their greatest virtues, and for days or months, they are the best companions in the world .
- Then we enter the dating phase , where we spend more time checking that your partner has no chance of meeting anyone, making her feel a unique and responsible person.
- In many cultures, it goes through a phase of formal commitment (promise), where the exact date of the contract is already set .
- Finally, marriage arrives , where many people pass (mentally) to " this is mine ", relaxes all conditions of caring for the person, and seems to have a series of rights for life . Many of the virtues of the first phase fade, because it seems that we no longer have to conquer our property .
It's mine! It's mine! It's mine! In the end, nobody is your property. If I have learned something in love, it is that relationships have to be taken care of every day. Every morning you have to wake up hugging and making the couple next to us feel unique. It will be necessary to prolong that feeling every minute of the day so that you want to be the person who shares our last hug (heh, he is worth as an exception the days of sick leave). We are people who have to share a path, not pretend to get in the path of the other. You can have whoever you want, but only those who do not feel your property will love you.